Alisha Williams

I had this vision. That I had found my way. My path. That I wasn’t afraid to take it. That I was finally at home in my own skin. Definitive living. In the moment, with a purpose. That is what it looked like. I was walking the streets in Valparaiso, I was farming in Madison WI, I fell in love with the right person and traveled the world, really seeing it. I had a beautiful family. It was all ripe and luscious, sweet aftertaste on my tongue.
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I can always tell when there is a problem with the Assamela brothers. I stepped out of the shower to find them sulking on my porch. They are absolutely my favorite people. I see Dieu-donné nearly twice a day. They are fraternal twins, but they couldn’t be any different. Dieu-donné is outgoing, super intelligent, respectful and receptive. Eliza is funny, light, not the best student, has a propensity to be moody.

Poor Eliza, always second fiddle. D-D skipped a grade ahead of his brother in primary school and is now first in his class for the third year in a row. Eliza is 17th in the class below him. The other day in club Eliza walked out because some mean girls called his ears big. D-D helps run the club, my partner in crime. I know that D-D will go on to university. I know that Eliza probably won’t make it out of secondary school, that he will stay in Ataloté, become a carpenter, drink tchouck under the baobab tree…

After some prodding, they tell me the problem. “What’s wrong?” “Is there a problem in the family?” Nope. It’s me, for a change. D-D and I had been talking about nominating certain kids in the community for the various Peace Corps summer camps, one of which I am an organizer. I know that Eliza wants badly to go to the environmental action camp; he is definitely the most adept at the gardening skills I have been teaching them. It is the one thing that puts a light in his eyes, something that could really afford him a brightness in his future. Anyway, D-D and I had talked about his reluctance to participate in club, how the need for active participation would only increase during camp etc. That maybe he wasn’t ready to go yet, maybe next year. Well, he told him all of this and it broke his heart. He cried and didn’t eat his lunch D-D says. I look at Eliza and tears are streaming down his face.

I realize that he, above all the others, really needs to go to camp. The wonders it could do for him. I look back and forth between the two boys, my best friends in village. I have to send him. I see the writing on the wall, how much this could help him. I tell him why I had said that— my concerns with his previous behavior issues. I tell him that if I nominate him (essentially an assured participant spot considering I am an organizer) I need to know that he will behave, participate and be prepared to handle it. He assures me, seems to understand. I tell him he needs to show his motivation for attending during our next few club sessions; he nods, lightens up a bit.

Maybe I’ll send them both, a brotherly duo? I don’t know, I feel bad sending D-D to another camp (sent him to a camp last year) but it could really solidify all that is promising about him. We could do a lot of stuff next year. However, with that last thread, it might be more beneficial to try to get another player on board. There are other camps though…

Well, nice evening. Sitting here drinking a nice cold beer and listening to tunes. Indulged after a week of hard work, furtive duck-in to the out-of-the-way bar to sneak the cold one back home. Had a great talk with Auntie J this evening. She only encourages me more to follow the path I have begun to set upon. Her approval/advice means the world to me, helps me feel that my thinking is on point. My mentor.
This month has been crazy, but a good au village crazy. Things falling together. Quiet internal chaos moving in the right direction. Invigorating. Exhausting.